I can still remember the summer when depression waltzed itself into my life and slowly but surely begun taking over every aspect of it; it was the summer of 2010 and after having some repressed memories begin to really surface and my sexuality becoming an issue, depression begun to thrive.
I guess, for me at first, my depression wasn’t something too unbearable, in fact at the time I don’t think I would have ever insinuated that I was depressed; I had changed though, things i once enjoyed no longer interested me, and I’d hit an age where sexuality was coming into question, and i guess realising i was bi-sexual and dealing with memories I had ignored for many years didn’t exactly help the fact i was sad most of the time.
I really cannot pinpoint, though, when I first self harmed. Which is funny, right? They always say you’ll remember the first time you self harmed but I honestly cannot pinpoint the moment I first started, I guess I’m thankful for that though because it means I cant dwell on a set point in time I wish I could change, it is what it is and I must learn to recover from it and move on.
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Trigger warning: Very vague discussion of self-harm/eating disorder, suicide